Mother's Day '09

Mother's Day is always a bitter sweet day for me. Sweet because I've been blessed with the joy of being a Mother to my beautiful daughter Phoenix, and I've also been blessed to be surrounded by some wonderful women who play some type of Motherly role in my life. My Grandma, sister, Mother-in-law, Aunts, and even friends help me cope with having lost my own Mom at such a young age. This day is a little bitter for me because I miss my Mom SO much. My Mom passed away in 1995, and I miss her more and more everyday. She was my best friend. Looking back now I wonder how she juggled ALL of her responsibilities. She worked HARD and earned a very respectable salary, but despite her demanding work load she NEVER missed my soccer games or Niki's games. I always knew she enjoyed watching us because she was the Mom clapping her hands and jumping up and down on the sideline! When Niki cheered at UNLV we had season passes to the games and never missed one. My Mom was a happy woman, and I could always make her laugh. My best memories from childhood are of the three of us (her, me, and Niki) spending time together. My Mom was super smart like Niki. I didn't inherit that gene, but I always thought it was cool that my Mom was good at Math and was quick to figure things out. She was a tiny little thing. She was only 5'2 and I remember her saying she KNEW I was going to be tall because I passed her up in 8th grade, but too bad my growth spurt ended at 5'3. Another one of my memories is when Niki wanted to try out for cheer leading and needed to do a back handspring. She didn't know how, and tryouts were coming soon. My Mom took me and Niki in the backyard and totally taught her to do one. She was in her 40s and had NEVER been a gymnast, but insisted that her and I could "spot" Niki until she got it. Niki DID get it, and did make the squad. That's just one example of how extremely hands on and active she was. I hope to always be that kind of Mom. She was also the type of Mom that I felt like I could talk to about anything, and I am so grateful for that. We lived far from our family in Oklahoma, but she always made sure we made it back 4-5 times a year. She valued family and knew it was important for us to visit. I'm still close to my family there, and I owe that to my Mom. She went out of her way to make holidays special and our birthdays. The older I get the more I see my Mom in me, and it always makes me smile. Part of the reason I'm writing this is because I want Phoenix to KNOW my Mom. It is important to me that Phoenix understands the "big picture", and knows that someone loved me the way I love her and the way she'll love her children. Bobby is so sweet, he shows Phoenix pictures of my Mom and has taught her to call her Grandma. I'll never know what I've done to deserve all the blessings in my life. I had a WONDERFUL Mom, I have an amazing sister, a beautiful daughter, a great family, and the most amazing husband I could have ever dreamed of. This Mother's Day I'll celebrate being a Mom, and I'll also be thinking about my own Mom and all of the great things she did for me and my sister. I didn't know until I became a Mom myself the extraordinary amount of love that one has for her children. I am so grateful for the years I was able to spend with my Mom. I have faith that one day we'll be together again.

I hope this wasn't too boring. It's really for the record books, and it's a little therapeutic for me as well. Here are some of my favorite pictures of her.